Spike's Gift
by VampAmber
Summary: *Finished* I re-wrote The Gift, the end, at least. Anything I could tell you would give stuff away, so it's a re-written Gift and post re-written Gift story(no groaning, this one is different, as far as I know)
1. 1/3

Title: Spike's Gift  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: would I actually write something that wasn't S/B eventually? I think not  
Spoilers: definitely up to and including "The Gift"  
Rated: umm... PG, I guess, not really sure, maybe even G  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, meanie-mo Joss owns 'em all, but at least he's kind enough to share(at least, he doesn't say not to use themeg)  
Distribution: please? I wanna see my name on a web site, take it, put it up on the wall(or webpage), just tell me where, so I can go and stare at my name for hours at a time(ego? me? naaaaawdisbelief really? naaaaaawmore disbelief)  
Feedback: feed that ego I deny having, he's hungry, he wants lotsa yummy, nummy feedback  
Author's Note: *This* is thoughts, and parts in _Italics_ are flashbacks (maybe memories too, I guess)  
Dedications: to my damned muse, for giving me this instead of total writer's block, like she usually does, and, as always, to Bu(Kirsten), for being so cool, Debsie, for being just as cool, and the people I call friends in the Buffy chat room  
Summery: I re-wrote "The Gift", the end at least. Anything I tell you would give stuff away, so it's a re-written Gift and post re-written Gift story(no groaning, this one is different, as far as I know)  
  
Spike's Gift  
  
It had been four weeks. Four weeks since Spike had jumped into that portal to save Dawn's and Buffy's lives. Buffy had been about to jump when Spike had pushed her aside. He said "I love you both" right before he jumped. Buffy hadn't been able to respond before his body had been taken by that damn portal.   
Buffy started crying all over again at that awful memory. It was her fault.  
They had found it out only a few hours before going to save Dawn. They had found it took more than one person to transform the energy of the Key into a human form. They had found that the second person had to be the opposite of the first person, but there also had to be love. They had found out that the person in question was Spike. There had been disbelief at first, mostly from Buffy.  
  
_"What do you mean, it took Spike's essence as well as mine?" Buffy cried in outrage. Spike was still sitting in disbelief. "You mean that Dawn is like Spike's and my child?" Spike smiled at that, finally coming out of his stupor. Buffy glared at him, but he went on smiling. "So Dawn is made out of me and Spike?" Buffy didn't mean to take all this out on Giles, but he was the one who told her, so she just couldn't help it. He was in the wrong place, at the really wrong time.  
Buffy couldn't believe that someone she loved so much had come from someone she hated so much. But when she really got down to it, she didn't hate Spike any more. Actually, if she really listened to herself, she almost kinda loved the vamp. *No, I don't love him, I don't, I don't...* She couldn't deny it to herself any longer. No matter how many times she said no to herself, there was always this growing voice saying yes. *ARG!!!* She screamed in her head. *I love him, okay?! Happy now?!* She screamed to whoever was listening, mainly that little voice in her head.  
"So the Nibblet is our child?" Spike asked, smirking. Buffy did the only thing she could think of at the moment. She slapped him upside the face, scowling the whole while. She bared her teeth.  
"Do you ever shut up?" Buffy said, her anger more towards herself than Spike.  
"Do you ever solve problems without using violence?" Spike said in a mocking tone, before he could stop himself.  
  
_ Buffy couldn't stand remembering it further. She went downstairs to drown her sorrows in that gallon of chocolate ice cream sitting in the freezer. She closed her bedroom door, still sobbing quietly to herself.  
  
*************************************************************************  
"Can't I do anything to help her? Anything at all?" Spike looked over to his Guide, tears sliding down his face, mimicking the ones he had seen on Buffy's cheeks.  
The figure next to Spike shook her head. The figure was Spike's Guide in heaven. All newcomers got one. Spike hadn't even realized, when he jumped into that portal, that his end destination would be heaven.  
  
_"Where the hell am I?" Spike cried, seeing that he was not in Sunnydale anymore.  
"Wrong direction" Spike jumped at the voice he heard behind him. He turned around to see who it was, and got a new shock. It was a woman, but she was so beautiful, she almost didn't look human.  
She was medium-built, wearing flowing sky-blue robes. And her neck and arms were covered in silver. Silver necklaces, silver bracelets, silver rings, she was simply covered in silver. With her beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes, she kind of reminded him of Buffy. She looked every bit an angel, but Spike knew it must be an illusion. This couldn't be... No way could he be in...  
Almost as if answering his thoughts, she replied, "Yes, it's heaven. Get used to the idea, you're going to be here a long time. For, like, the rest of ever." She smiled, and his eyes hurt, her teeth were so white and sparkly.  
"How could I be in heaven? Last time I checked, I kinda lacked a soul." Spike was starting to get worried. *Must be a clerical error* he thought to himself.  
"Wow, you must not have checked in a while, then. You've been earning your soul through your good deeds. It was completed after you let that Hellgod torture you in order to save Buffy and Dawn. Up here, we like them noble-type deeds, so you got yourself a soul, and an all-expenses-paid ticket to heaven." She smiled again, and this time Spike covered his eyes before he was blinded.  
"You mean, I was toting a soul around for the last few months, and I didn't even notice it? Hah!" Spike couldn't believe what this angel(?) was telling him. Him, with a soul? He wasn't the prancing poof, how could he have a soul?  
"Still don't believe me?" the angel(?) asked. "Here, watch this." she picked up a little machine that looked kinda like a wristwatch, seemingly out of nowhere, and strapped it onto his wrist before he could utter a protest. Then she flipped a little switch on the side of the dial. A mechanical voice said "Soul", then it beeped a few times and disappeared.  
"It's a soul indicator." She said, "Pretty stupid looking, I know, but it does the job." she smiled again, catching Spike by surprise. He closed his eyes too late, and saw after-images on his eyelids.  
"Care to tone down that smile a bit?" he asked her, still rubbing at his eyes.  
"Oops, sorry." She smiled again, and her teeth were just white now, no more glow-in-the-dark molars. "Better?" she asked.  
"Much," he answered. "So let me get this straight. I have a soul?" he asked.  
"Yep," she answered.  
"And I'm in heaven?" he asked.  
"Yep," she answered again.  
"And I get to stay here? No changes of heart by the Powers That Be?" he asked, starting to get worried at the possible answer to that question.  
"Yep," she answered a third time.  
"And Buffy and Dawn are both still alive? They'll live?" he asked, voice filled with hope.  
"Yep, they're both gonna live for at least another fifty years, most likely longer," she answered, happy that she could give him such good news.  
His face fell. He said, in a voice that sounded more like a hurt whisper, "Then I'll never get to see Buffy?" He gulped at the thought, tears ready to fall at any moment.  
_ _ "Not exactly," she replied, and moved over to a hole in the cloud-floor-stuff that resembled a window. "She's right down there, along with the rest of them." she explained, while pointing at the hole.   
He stared in awe, so enormously glad that he could still see her, still watch her._  
  
Spike had been watching her ever since. And he was getting more and more depressed, as Buffy became more and more depressed. He missed her more every time he saw her.  
It was heart-breaking to watch, and the Guides usually didn't have sad emotions, or any painful ones at all, for that matter. But this Guide had a special connection to the two. The Guides had been meeting every week, trying to figure out a solution. Four weeks later, they still had nothing.  
"He looks so hurt. People aren't supposed to hurt in heaven," one Guide said, a brunette with gray eyes and mint green robes. All the other Guides nodded in agreement.  
"We must do something for him," said another, one with raven-colored hair and stormy blue eyes, wearing pale pink robes.  
A petite blond with green eyes and lilac colored robes spoke up. "I have an idea. If the Powers That Be would let us, we could..." she then whispered her idea to the others, so that spike could not over-hear it, and get hope, should it fail.  
After a chorus of agreement, she flitted off to find the Powers to run her idea by.  
Spike's Guide Spoke up, after a long silence. "I hope, for Spike's sake, that they say yes."   
  
  
TBC............  
  



	2. 2/3

Title: Spike's Gift  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: would I actually write something that wasn't S/B eventually? I think not  
Spoilers: definitely up to and including "The Gift"  
Rated: umm... PG, I guess, not really sure, maybe even G  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, meanie-mo Joss owns 'em all, but at least he's kind enough to share(at least, he doesn't say not to use themeg)  
Distribution: please? I wanna see my name on a web site, take it, put it up on the wall(or webpage), just tell me where, so I can go and stare at my name for hours at a time(ego? me? naaaaawdisbelief really? naaaaaawmore disbelief)  
Feedback: feed that ego I deny having, he's hungry, he wants lotsa yummy, nummy feedback  
Author's Note: *This* is thoughts, and parts in _Italics_ are flashbacks (maybe memories too, I guess)  
Dedications: to my damned muse, for giving me this instead of total writer's block, like she usually does, and, as always, to Bu, for being so cool, Debsie, for being just as cool, and the people I call friends in the Buffy chat room  
Summery: I re-wrote "The Gift", the end at least. Anything I tell you would give stuff away, so it's a re-written Gift and post re-written Gift story(no groaning, this one is different, as far as I know)  
  
Spike's Gift (part two)  
  
_Spike had been gone for less than a week, but Buffy was an emotional wreck. She cried for hours at a time, and always had nightmares about That Night. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw it all over again. She saw him jump, she saw his body suspended in the air for countless seconds. Then she saw him fall. They were so high up, he could never survive.  
Dawn ran down the stairs, Buffy close behind. Both were praying that they'd find Spike complaining about the fall, acting if nothing important had happened. But their prayers were not answered that morning.  
They reached the bottom, only to find Spike's broken body, laying on the debris.  
"No!" Buffy cried out. Before she realized what she was doing, she ran to his side and hugged his no longer un-dead but now really dead body to hers. "No, Spike, it should have been me. It should have. It should..." she broke off, her sobs making it impossible to speak. "God, no," she uttered between the tears.  
Dawn was by her side in a second, hugging her, and crying just as much. It was like losing their mother, all over again. Dawn looked up at the sky, or more, at the sun rising.  
"Buffy," she said, and shook her sister's shoulder. Buffy paid Dawn no mind. Dawn shook harder. "Buffy. Buffy, the sun's coming up. We have to move his body. He'll burn up, Buffy. We have to move him."  
But it was too late. The sun light hit first Buffy, then the body in her lap that used to hold Spike. But nothing happened. Spike didn't become something that would fit in a Dust Buster. There was no fire, no smoke, no nothing, just a body, laying in Buffy's lap.  
"It was the least they could do," Buffy whispered. "Give us a body to bury. It was the very least..." she broke off, starting to cry all over again.  
Dawn couldn't take her sister's despair any longer. "Buffy, I don't want to say this," she said through her own tears, "but he's gone. That's not Spike, that's just where he's been un-living for the past century and a half. Buffy, please, stop crying, please?" Dawn started crying all over again, Buffy's grief so full that it was contagious.  
The Scoobies had stayed back until now, letting the sisters grieve on their own. But now they waked up, and tried to comfort the two. Tara and Willow hugged Dawn, and turned her away from the body. Xander and Anya comforted Buffy while Giles picked up Spike's body.  
Giles spoke, "We should go home. We've all had a very long, what with saving the world again and all, and rest would be very helpful."  
"Okay," Buffy replied, sounding more like a lost child than a triumphant slayer.  
  
_ That was only the beginning of Buffy's torment. Things only got worse after.  
  
_ It had been two weeks since Spike's second death. The Scoobies were done grieving, and Dawn was still crying, but only in her room, at night, quietly to herself. But Buffy, well... Buffy went into a deeply depressed state.   
She repeatedly had a nightmare that she had pushed Spike off the tower. She would sneak up behind him, then push him off. He would scream and flail his arms a bit, then there would be a sickening thud as he hit the ground. She always woke up screaming after that one.  
Giles had moved in to help take care of Dawn, seeing as Buffy, at the moment, could barely take care of herself. The Scoobies were starting to discuss the possibility of sending Buffy to see a psychologist, but it was still in debate.  
Dawn had went back to school, but Giles and Willow had to help her with her homework, catch her up with the rest of her class. She didn't always get things correct, but she tried her hardest.  
Buffy had started the habit of looking out her bedroom window every night, expecting to see Spike down there, smoking a cigarette, waiting for her. But she never saw him. It usually just made the sadness worse.  
She knew that if she didn't shape up soon, that she would have to see a psychiatrist, and she DID NOT want that. He'd just say she was crazy, or obsessed, or something equally as bad. And how could she explain about Spike? "Yeah, I'm crying and depressed because a vampire that helped create my little sister threw himself off a big tower into a portal to hell so that I wouldn't have to do it." Oh, yeah, that sounded so sane. She'd be in a straight jacket in no time.  
So that day, she pushed all her grief inside, and only let it out when the others were not around to worry about her.  
  
_ Spike had seen all of this. He had seen her sit by his grave every day for more than a week. He had a grave. If it hadn't been for Buffy's grief, he'd have probably laughed at the fact that he finally had a grave, after over a hundred and forty years of walking the earth. He was probably the only vampire to ever have a grave.  
It had read: R.I.P. William Hayden a.k.a. Spike He was a friend to some, an inspiration to others, and loved by all.  
Every time he thought of the words on his tombstone , he teared up. They had found his last name. He had almost forgot it himself. That 'inspiration' bit was almost too much, as was the 'loved by all'. He figured that Buffy and the Little Bit had picked it out. Wiping away a tear that had fallen down his cheek, he looked back down at Buffy. She had a large bowl of chocolate ice cream in her lap, and was watching a sad movie on the television in the living room. He could tell it was really sad by the way she was crying.  
He glanced at the tv set, and saw that it wasn't even on. Still she sat there, crying. *She's crying about me* he thought sadly, none of his usual cockiness in that statement. He turned away from the viewing portal, he couldn't stand Buffy being so sad. Even worse, it was because of him.  
As he turned around, he saw his Guide watching him. He grabbed her wrist, and spoke desperately. "I have to see her, not from far away, but up close. I have to be next to her, I have to comfort her. She has to see me, and know that I'm all right. And I have to do it right now." His voice had rose during the whole speech, and it had went from desperate to demanding very quickly.  
She thought about this for a moment. she then replied, "Okay, you can go down there and visit her. You can go as a spectral vision, but you can only stay five minutes. After that, you will no longer be a spectral vision. Is that clear? Only five minutes, remember that." She smiled at her cleverness.  
"Only five minutes?!" he cried. He started to get angry, but the thought better of it. "Okay, five minutes. Anything would be better than watching her through that... thing." He pointed in disgust at the viewing portal.  
"Good luck. And have a nice time," she smiled, and watched him fade away. She then turned to the veiwing portal to watch for herself.  
  
  
TBC............


	3. 3/3

Title: Spike's Gift  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: would I actually write something that wasn't S/B eventually? I think not  
Spoilers: definitely up to and including "The Gift"  
Rated: umm... PG, I guess, not really sure, maybe even G  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, meanie-mo Joss owns 'em all, but at least he's kind enough to share(at least, he doesn't say not to use themeg)  
Distribution: please? I wanna see my name on a web site, take it, put it up on the wall(or webpage), just tell me where, so I can go and stare at my name for hours at a time(ego? me? naaaaawdisbelief really? naaaaaawmore disbelief)  
Feedback: feed that ego I deny having, he's hungry, he wants lotsa yummy, nummy feedback, and maybe some chocolate Spikes for me...  
Author's Note: *This* is thoughts, and parts in _Italics_ are flashbacks (maybe memories too, I guess)  
Dedications: to my damned muse, for giving me this instead of total writer's block, like she usually does, and, as always, to Bu, for being so cool, Debsie, for being just as cool, and the people I call friends in the Buffy chat room  
Summery: I re-wrote "The Gift", the end at least. Anything I tell you would give stuff away, so it's a re-written Gift and post re-written Gift story(no groaning, this one is different, as far as I know)  
  
Spike's Gift(part three)  
  
Wiping the tears off her face with the sleeve of her shirt, Buffy tried to stop crying, After a few minutes, she succeeded. She picked the remote up off the couch, and turned on the tv. *I hope there's a good comedy or something on. I could really use a laugh. It's been since...*she didn't finish the thought. She knew if she did, her tears would start right back up again. She channel surfed for a few minutes, finally settling in on an old Saturday Night Live re-run. It was a good one, back from when all her favorite cast members were still on the show.  
A few minutes into the episode, she heard something make a noise behind her. Her slayer instincts kicked in, and she put aside her now-empty bowl and jumped over the couch. She was about to kick the crap out of the figure, when she realized who it was.  
She screamed. "No! You're not here! You're dead!" She grabbed her head. "I'm not going crazy, I'm not going crazy," she told herself.  
Spike looked surprised at first, then started making calming gestures. "Shh, luv, it's alright. You're not going crazy, I really am here. I got a five minute pass from the Powers to come visit you."  
She looked at him, tears still dripping out of her eyes. "It's really you, isn't it?" she said, the tears starting to slow down.  
"Yep, it's me luv. I came back, if only for a few minutes," he told her, his heart swelling with love for this little blond girl with tear-streaked cheeks. She rushed over to hug him, but found that he was not fully there. He was like thick mist, she could feel him but not grab ahold of anything.  
She settled for just staring at him. "I was so lost without you, I just didn't know what to do," she told him, her lip quivering. But this time she held the tears in, not wanting to blur the vision before her.  
"I know luv, I was watching you the whole time. It broke my heart to see you so sad. So I finally made those windbags up in heaven let..."  
She interrupted him. "Heaven? You made it to heaven?"  
"Yep luv, I did. They said I earned a soul, what with all my good deeds and such," he said, smiling the whole time.  
"I just missed you so much." She tried to smile for him, but it broke before it reached her lips.  
"Don't cry luv. I'm right here for now, and after I'm gone, I'll be watching you till the day you die. I promise on my soul." He giggled at the thought of him being able to say 'on my soul', and, remarkably, Buffy giggled as well. "See? You can still smile, I knew it. Please try to smile some more? For me? You never did look very good crying, it makes your eyes all puffy."  
She swatted at him, out of habit, but only hit mist. *Same old Spike* She smiled at that thought. She looked at the living room window, and she pointed out the sunlight to Spike. "Look, you're in the sunlight. Too bad you had to die to see the afternoon sun again." *She didn't even choke up on the word 'die'. That must mean she's getting better* Spike thought to himself. He looked over at the clock. His time was up, but he had made her feel better, he could go back knowing that he helped.  
But he would still miss her. And she would miss him. But there was nothing to be done about that, it was just the way it had to be.  
"Luv, don't cry, but my time's up. I'll see you again in about fifty years or so." He had tried to sound light, but it came out sounding dull and heavy.  
She stopped at those words. She sighed, then remembered something important. "Spike, I didn't get to say this before you jumped, but I love you too." She smiled shyly at him.  
"And I love you Buffy. More than all the stars in the sky. Remember that." He smiled back at her, but then he started to fade. "Looks like my time is up. Remember, anytime you have something to tell me, I'll be listening." He smiled sadly at her, and she smiled back, equally as sad.  
But then something happened. Instead of disappearing completely, he started to fade back in. Spike started feeling funny, and realized that he was becoming whole again. He stuttered, "I'm... I'm... I'm back." He stared down at himself in amazement. Then he looked over at Buffy. She looked as if she had gone into shock. *Only one way to cure that* Spike thought, as he leaned over and kissed her. She came back just in time to kiss him back. The kiss lasted until she ran out of breath.  
What is this Spike? One last kiss, courtesy of the Powers?" she asked, puzzled as all get out. But he wasn't listening to her, he was listening to the voice in her head. It was his Guide.  
"We talked to the Powers, us Guides," she told him. "The powers said it was okay to let you come back. They saw just how true your love was, and decided that you shouldn't be separated for over half a century. So they gave you back your life. Enjoy." She started to leave.  
"Wait, before you go, this is permanent, right?" he asked, just to make sure. Those Powers were tricky buggers, never to be trusted fully.  
"Yep, you're here until you die a third time. Umm... She's talking to you. I'll leave you two alone for now. Goodbye for now." her voice said, then disappeared.  
"Spike? Spike? You in there? Wake up." Buffy couldn't understand why Spike had suddenly went coma-patient, and she was trying to snap him out of it.  
Spike shook his head, and looked at her. "All here luv. I was just talking with a representative from the Powers' upstairs branch. She said I get to stay!" he screamed in joy.  
Buffy mimicked his scream. "Oh my God! You get to stay! You get to..." she stopped talking when she saw where Spike was standing. Or, more precisely, what he was standing in. "Spike," she gasped, and pointed to the window. The window that was streaming sunlight all over the two of them.  
"Holy... I'm human, I'm human!" he screamed, grabbing Buffy and jumping for joy. "I'm alive! I can't believe I'm a..." he was cut off by Buffy's kiss. They stopped jumping, and surrendered to the passion of the kiss. Buffy put all her emotions into that kiss, her joy, her happiness, but most of all, her love. The kiss was the best either had ever known. It was almost heaven on earth.  
  
*****************************************************************************  
"I'm so glad they got together," said Spike's former Guide, watching from the viewing portal. She sighed. "My daughter deserves a little happiness in her life, after all she's been through." With that, Joyce, Spike's former Guide, turned and walked away, wanting to give the couple some privacy.  
  
  
*****The End*****


End file.
